SUBMISSIONS

Submissions are accepted on a regular basis, year-round.
Can include, short stories, essays, poetry and prose.
Must not exceed 3,000 words.
Must be written by a current ESA student, or alumni.
Submissions are accepted: e.s.say.says@gmail.com

Thursday 5 March 2015

Intoxicating Fear
Alana Staszczyszyn

Shhh!
Hush now! Look centre stage, the lights flood in!
Drop what’s so important... the show begins!
Excitement floods and runs throughout their veins:
Singers, Players, performers all the same.
But dully in the dark musicians sit,
just frolicking in joy deep in the pit!
Yet scarcely seen among the bells and bows,
some forty-six gut strings in colored rows,
a wooden frame so elegant and tall,
that trumps and squanders its brethren so small.

The rest know well that they cannot compare
for at this gorgeous monster eyes will stare,
and though I am but one of many here
in black, a flash of rainbow does appear:
not uniform; refusal to be plain;
a soul so extravagantly untamed
which longs for none other than to prove wrong
the notion that it is all but strong.
But damned was I to think that that would fix
my soul and lead me on to find pure bliss.

Born within midst of my great confusion
a quest, a journey to break illusions:
I longed to find an aid to look inside,
to analyze my mind and quench my pride.
The line is thin between morality
and self acceptance of one’s vanity,
so what’s acceptable for one’s accept
when deep inside you know your are adept
at things you hope will make the world better?
So truth I sought with chemical answers.

So what, I tripped, you think that that halts me?
Plain is the power of discovery:
a fortification of iron will,
and self incrimination it will kill.
To know inside that I have well prevailed,
surpassed, succeeded, made not to fail,
for when one cannot trust what they do see,
reality, it warps, leaving minds free.
But yet that does not lead to one’s demise;
one learns to trust their heart, and not their eyes.

So with these substances I did explore
my very consciousness down to the core,
and through my feet I found a way to prance;
next thing I knew I grasped the art of dance!
And to my hands the blood rushed free and raw
then suddenly I learned to freely draw!
And too, the sound, it came so natural,
through speech, and words, and harmonies made full!
But still I’d yet to learn what living’s for;
it can’t be fame alone; there must be more.

With company divine: he who yearns learn
came incomparably such knowledge earned.
One fatefully intoxicated night
revealed a beauty so fair and right:
the glory of collaboration’s work.
A power that holds nations on their turf,
a force that works in big, middle, and small,
from atoms, blood kin, buildings grand and tall.
But where this tool really does outshine:
in arts, in music; elements divine.

Such melodies so full and rich by ear
made pleasantly from harmonies so clear,
and drawings made from many lines’ connects
carefully placed, equated in transect.
I learned from this after my soul now grown
that one cannot survive to stand alone,
for even in beings inanimate
existance shall never alone admit
license, for all is made of smaller forms;
This knowledge birthing revelations born.

Forever have these moments brought such change
for indestructible, a peace unmaimed
was ever brought to my mind’s conception
of such great understanding connections.
A passion dominates me now by far:
inspire, instruct, not be the star.
With art and music comes a wholesome peace
where other’s satisfaction matters least,
and now that I’ve escaped my judgement’s fear,

I shall intoxicate your sober ears.

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